Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Cool Stuff To Do To Make Windows Run Good

If your PC is starting to sputter out, then it's time for an action plan. Regular PC maintenance is vital to keeping that ugly beast called Windows running better longer and Mr. Gates will love you too, I swear it. Are you cool? Cool, here are cool Tech Tips on how to keep that Windows OS purring like a pussy.

1. Clean Out the Temp Files:

Go ahead and amaze yourself, honest, go do it right now with some cool house cleaning. You'll be surprised how much junk Bill gates and the Internet puts in you computer. So get cool and get rid of that crap, do it now YO!, just do it and be cool, it's all good.

2. Defragment Your HardDrive:

Defragmenting the hard drive(s) at least once a month is vital to keeping things cool. Remember, large downloads and everyday computer use puts a hard demand on your hard drives, and a good long defragment will keep that biotch happy.

3. Update that Anti-Virus File And Run It Often:

Look it, if you want your PC running good, then you need to do this. Stop whining that you can't, just be cool and do it. Run that Anti-virus at least one time a week.

4. Get A Firewall:

A Firewall is not what it used to be, granted, but it will still help keep that effing geek cracker jack from prying open your PC like a can of sardines.

5. Turn System Restore On:

System Restore is a Windows way of covering its proverbial ass when things get messed up in your PC. System Restore keeps snapshots of your system settings and when the BS hits the fan, no sweat, you can restore you PC to a place in time, it will save your pathetic life.

6. Disable Those Startup Progs:

I know you don't know it yet, but right now as we speak, there are programs loading up with your Windows OS that you don't know about. That's right, someone has decided to make their program run without you knowing and it's taking up space in your RAM memory and goofing all that shit up. When you disable these progs, your system will load faster.

7. Windows Updates Is Your Friend, So Install All Security Updates:

The title speaks for itself, just do it.

8. Get Spyware Checker:

Spyware, these days are taking over. Your computer is probably infected with that crap, sending all sorts of nasty crap your way. You know, like porn and shit. And it pops up at all the wrong times, like when your Spinster Aunt Clarrisse, pays a visit. Download anti-spyware progs and use them all the time.

9. Download From Reputable Websites Only:

If you download garbage from any old site, man, you're asking for it, hard. Don't get stupid, use only sites like download.com and other well knows sites. These guys scan their offered downloads, it's wise to scan yours too.

10. Uninstall Progs You Don't use:

OK, this goes out to all you sniveling pack-rats out there, you know who you are. You download and install all sorts of garbage on your machine and wonder what the hell happened when things slow down. Do yourself a favor, if you don't use a program uninstall it.

That's all for today Ladies, It's all good and it's all cool stuff.

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